Moved By Change

Change is difficult for me. :)
And I state the previous with fervent emphasis.
Change has always been difficult for me. :)

I remember that incredibly humiliating incident long ago in the public library. I know the story has been increasingly dramatised over the years, but the truth is: my heart was broken that day.

I considered the library my second home; it was the palace filled with so many dreams and adventures in which Holly and I could always partake. The building, the layout, the memories seemed the embossment of my childhood. The library bore the signature of my soul, the fingerprint of my future.

I know this may sound sentimental. But I am still horrified by what happened that sad day long ago. I walked into the public library situated so beautifully downtown and was shocked to find that -

They remodeled my precious library.
They CHANGED my alcazar of adventures.
They tore down the fortress of my memories and marred the floor that knew my footprints personally.
It was horrendous.
And I ... sorta flipped out when I saw what they had done. There were a few tears, a few wails here and there ... it was just a very small altercation in the shattered castle of all my hopes.

Family members SERIOUSLY dramatize the entire event, and I know I will never live it down - BUT, at least I have learned a thing or two since then. :)
(1) It is best to bear hardship with a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4).
(2) You can not stop things from changing.

Now, I have learned to have better responses toward change over the years, but the subject itself still effects me deeply.
I am NOT a fan, I must say. :)

Today, I saw change. And, although they aren't as concerned as I am, my coworkers were surprised at the change as well.
:)
I have to say that this change cuts deep.

For the past year, or so, I have been cultivating a relationship with this one family of customers. They have 3 adorable children, and have been the most polite, grown up, engaging children you have ever met. Ryan is the oldest. Almost 14 years old and so precious. He has always spoken in complete sentences, tucks his shirt in, loves math, and saves diligently in the account we set up for him.

But today he came in a completely different boy! He was wearing a "Metallica" shirt, his jeans were ripped, and his phone has a band bangle on it. His shirt was not tucked in, he totally covered his nice leather wallet in duct tape, his ears are glued to his new IPOD, and he neglected to say "Good afternoon" when he came into the branch. Instead, he responded, "Sup" to my very proper and familiar, "Hello, Ryan!"

Plus, instead of learning about sea creatures, or reading up on Egypt this weekend - he is going to a movie. With his girlfriend.
Plus #2, he CASHED a check today. No deposit.

What happened to my sweet saver Ryan?
And who is this girl?!
He was still nice, friendly, and he chatted with me. He is STILL my little friend. But he was texting while I cashed his check. And he wrinkled his receipt.

That was a few hours ago.
I still haven't gotten over it.

Ryan may still be sweet and fun (?), but I know that things will not again be the same.
I know THAT because, even though I have learned to bear things a bit more calmly, my relationship with the library was NEVER restored.

Lord, in all these things, I praise Your name. Because I know You are faithful; You NEVER change.

Malachi 3:6 ~ "For I am the Lord, I do not change."
:)

Long story short. Today was a completely marvelous day. It was beautiful, it was filled with excitement, and it caused my faith in the Lord to grow.
:)